Koro, I've a Feeling We're not in the Empire Anymore
by WoodenStarfish
Summary: After a battle with Night Raid goes wrong, Seryu and Koro find themselves lost in a foreign land. Read as they try to find the mysterious wizard who can send them home, and meet some familiar friends along the way. Wizard of Oz parody.
1. Prologue

One day, on the edge of a cliffside, a great battle took place. On one side, standing with their backs against the cliff's staggering height, fought five members of a police force called the Jaegers. There was a muscular man in a white mask who wielded a flamethrower, a petite girl with a cursed katana, a man in a blue suit of armor, a young woman with metal arms and a green jacket, and a monstrously sized dog. Opposite of them stood an eight-member team of assassins called Night Raid. Their leader, a tall woman dressed in black named Najenda stepped forward and pointed at the Jaegers.

"You are outnumbered and surrounded. Your comrades are too far away to help you. Surrender to the Revolutionary Army, and you may receive leniency," Najenda called out.

The woman in green, named Seryu, shouted back, "It doesn't matter how many of you there are! Justice always prevails! Justice never surrenders!"

"If that's the way you see it, so be it. Night Raid, attack!"

The armored Jaeger, Wave, drew his sword and said, "Don't worry guys, we can take-oof!" Before he could finish his encouragement, a swift blow from a mace held by Night Raid member Susanoo sent Wave flying off the edge of the cliff.

"Everyone, get behind me!" shouted the masked Jaeger, Bols, before shooting an arc of flame at the assassins. The intensity of the fire forced Night Raid to pull back, giving the swordswoman Kurome time to summon undead puppets with her weapon. As soon as Bols's fire died down, Kurome gestured towards Night Raid. "All right, my precious little dolls," she told her puppets, "kill them!"

As her comrades fought the assassins, Seryu set her sight on one enemy in particular. Her target was a pink haired sniper named Mine, who was the Night Raid member she knew best.

"Koro, equip me with numbers one and three!" Seryu shouted at her dog. Koro quickly attached a large flail to his master's left arm, and a long blade to her right. "For justice!" cried the Jaeger as she and her dog charged the sniper. Koro lunged at Mine, but the pink assassin quickly jumped away. However, this dodge left her open to Seryu, who struck her with the flail. Mine went flying into a nearby tree, where she gasped in pain caused by what was most likely a few broken ribs. Mine looked up, where she saw Seryu and Koro approaching her with a murderous gleam in their eyes.

"Face my Sung Dynasty Blade!" cried Seryu as she charged Mine, preparing to skewer the sniper with her great sword. Behind Seryu ran Koro, never far from his master.

"Crap, crap, crap!" exclaimed Mine as she dove for her rifle. "Pumpkin, don't fail me now." At this point, Seryu and Koro were nearly on top of her. Aiming her teigu at her assailants, Mine took a deep breath. "This is for Sheele!" Mine screamed, firing Pumpkin. The danger of Mine's situation made Pumpkin's blast all the more potent, resulting in a wide beam that shot towards Seryu and Koro.

A bright light engulfing their vision was the last thing the two Jaegers saw before everything went dark.


	2. Chapter 1

The first thing Seryu noticed when she came to was a soft, warm presence underneath her. Sitting up, Seryu looked down to find Koro in his enlarged form beneath her. As she rolled off her companion, the Jaeger heard a pained whine come from the organic teigu.

"You took the brunt of the fall to save me. Thank you, Koro, you're a good boy," Seryu said comfortingly. She looked Koro over closely, trying to evaluate the wounds he had sustained from their tumble. "You're pretty beat up, but it doesn't look like your core was damaged. You should recover shortly." Koro barked in understanding before shrinking down to his usual size. What Seryu saw beneath Koro made her gasp.

"My God! Koro, I think we landed on someone!" she exclaimed. Koro looked at the ground beneath him, and sure enough, the splattered remains of an unrecognizable victim were spread around them. Their facial features were beyond discernible, but one could notice a few key details. The deceased had long hair, though its color couldn't be made out due to blood stains. The victim's clothes, on the other hand, did have a few clear spots where the color purple could be seen.

 _Maybe there are other people nearby who can identify this poor person_. Seryu looked around, examining the environment for anyone who could help her. To her surprise, Seryu found herself surrounded by houses, small gardens, and even cobblestone roads; all features of a rural village. However, there was not a soul in sight. Upon observing the bright, cheerful colors of the dwellings and roads, Seryu summarized Pumpkin's blast had thrown her farther than she had imagined. "Koro," she whispered, "I've a feeling we're not in the Empire anymore." Koro, seeing something over his master's shoulder, began barking and jumping excitedly. Seryu spun around and spotted a smooth, clear, cubical object floating in her direction.

"I don't know what kind of danger beast this is. . . but I'm taking no chances!" the Jaeger cried, pulling out her two signature firearms. "TONFA GUNS!" With that, she fired a barrage of bullets at the mysterious cube.

The cube went from floating to a speeding blur as it dodged Seryu's attack. "Stop, stop, stop!" the object cried, "what is your problem!" Seryu ceased fire upon hearing the feminine voice coming from the cube.

"You can speak?" asked the Jaeger incredulously.

The object floated closer to Seryu, and the Jaeger now realized the cube appeared to be made of ice. The block of ice then transformed, taking the shape of a tall, beautiful, pale woman with long blue hair. Seryu stood dumbfounded. A moment ago, this lady was a flying block of frozen water. "Now I know we're not in the Empire," she whispered.

"Let's try this again. Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?" asked the pale woman.

"First of all, I am no witch. Witches are evil creatures. I am Seryu Ubiquitous of the Empire, an agent of JUSTICE," replied Seryu, putting extra emphasis on that last word.

"And yet, you shoot at people you just met."

"That was a misunderstanding. I didn't know what to make of a flying block of ice. Let's get one thing straight: I am not a witch."

The woman looked puzzled for a moment, before pointing at Koro. "Well then, is that the witch?"

"That's Koro, my imperial arms."

"Well, this is confusing. The dwarves called me because a new witch has just fallen on top of the Wicked Witch of the East. You two are right here. And over there are the remains of the Wicked Witch of the East. And some other parts of her are over there. And another bit got thrown way back there. . ." said the pale lady, almost salivating as she observed the gore.

"Ok, I get it," interrupted Seryu, who was more than a bit perturbed by the other woman's fondness for pointing out the grisly scene. "But like I said, I'm no witch. Witches are old and ugly."

"Well, isn't someone confident in her looks," replied the woman, eliciting sniggering from somewhere Seryu couldn't see.

The Jaeger spun around, aiming her weapons in the direction of the laughter. "Who goes there! Show yourself, before I start firing into the bushes!"

"Whoa, whoa whoa, let's not murder anyone," exclaimed the woman in a calming voice. "Those are just the dwarves, and they're laughing because I'm a witch. I'm Esudesu, the Good Witch of the North."

"Really? I didn't know witches could be, well, hot."

"Only bad witches are ugly."

"Oh. I didn't think moral character worked that way."

"It's that simple," laughed Esudesu. "The quality of a person can be accurately judged solely by their physical appearance."

"Wait, if you couldn't tell if I was good or bad, doesn't that mean that you think I look. . ."

"Never mind that," interrupted the good witch, "The dwarves all want to thank you for saving them."

"Who are the dwarves?" asked Seryu, "Are they like the creatures of myth?"

Esudesu looked around cautiously before whispering in Seryu's ear, "Honestly, they're just a group of midgets who moved to the countryside to avoid bullying. They're very insecure about their height, so don't bring it up or use the m-word." With that, Esudesu gestured outwards, singing, "Come out, come out, wherever you are, and meet the young lady who fell from a star. . ."

"It was really more like a cliff," corrected Seryu.

Ignoring her, Esudesu continued, "She fell from the sky, she fell very far. And the Empire, she says, is the name of the star."

"It really isn't a star!"

Then, short people began coming out from everywhere. From the bushes, out of their homes, a few even crawled out of manholes. "The Empire, she says, is the name of the star."

"It's not a. . . forget it," said Seryu, defeatedly.

Esudesu began singing again. "She brings you good news, or haven't you heard? When she fell out of the Empire, a miracle occurred." At this point, the dwarves were staring intently at the confused Jaeger, and Seryu felt the need to clarify things.

"It really wasn't a miracle. I was fighting a group of evil doers called Night Raid, when their most vile member shot me and Koro off a cliff. I guess we happened to land on this Wicked Witch."

At this, the dwarves began chattering amongst themselves, which eventually turned into singing about Seryu's killing of the witch. Before Seryu understood what was happening, she found herself and Koro being ushered to a carriage. The Jaeger, her dog, and Esudesu were driven all over Dwarf Land, and everywhere they went dwarves were lined up, tossing flowers at their path. At first, Seryu didn't know what to make of the whole ordeal, but then a thought crossed her mind. _These dwarves are so cheerful, yet they also express such glee at the death of one they consider wicked. These are my people!_ Seryu resolved to enjoy herself, waving at her adoring crowds until the carriage came to a stop outside the dwarf town hall.

Seryu dismounted the carriage and was met by an older looking dwarf dressed in a suit and top hat. Shaking Seryu's metallic hand, he said, "As mayor of Dwarf Land, a county in the land of Ur, I am proud to award you with our greatest honor: the Dwarven Medal of Justice. But before I can do that, the coroner must legally verify that the witch is truly dead." Another dwarf, presumably the county coroner, walked over and carefully inspected the remains of the Wicked Witch of the East. After several agonizingly long minutes, the coroner returned, saying, "As coroner, I must aver, I thoroughly examined her. And she's not only merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead." The coroner then present a large sheet of paper with the words "Certificate of Death" written in large print.

"I could have told you that," muttered Seryu.

The governor announced to the crowd, "Then this is a day of independence for all dwarves and their descendents! Let the joyous news be spread: the wicked old witch at last is dead!" The proclamation was met with deafening cheers from the dwarves. The governor then produced a medal. Seryu, knowing that even if she bent over the governor wouldn't be able to place the medal around her neck, opted to drop to one knee.

"Oh, there's no need to kneel before me, I'm only an elected servant. Just bow your head and I'll bestow the award."

"Of course, I just thought it would be easier, since you are. . . you know."

At this, the governor's smile disappeared. Frowning, he replied, "No, I don't know. What am I?"

"Uh," stammered the Jaeger, who then looked at Esudesu for help. The good witch was frantically shaking her head while waving her arms in the universal "no" gesture.

"I'm going to ask you again," said the governor sternly, "What exactly am I?"

Seryu gulped hard. The tension was thick, and she really didn't need a whole village of insecure midgets pissed at her. Before things could get worse, the standoff was interrupted by a loud bang coming from behind the crowd. Everyone dispersed, crying in fear as a large cloud of pink smoke rose up. After the smoke cleared, in its place stood a thin young woman. Her skin was pink, as was her robe. Her equally pink hair was arranged into pigtails. The newcomer did an about face before laying eyes on the remains of the Wicked Witch of the East.

"That's the Wicked Witch of the East's sister, and she's much worse. She's known as the Wicked Witch of the West," explained Esudesu to Seryu.

Hearing the good witch, the wicked witch turn around and marched right up to Esudesu. "Stop saying I'm 'of the west!' Just because I'm of mixed blood and part of my family comes from the Western Kingdom, doesn't give you the right to treat me like a foreigner! I'm from here too, you know!"

Seryu realized she would have to explain her sister's death, the Jaeger addressed the pink girl, "Excuse me, Miss Wicked Witch of the West. . ."

"YOU!" creid the witch, "are you the one that killed my sister?"

"It was just an accident, I can't control where I fall."

"Well guess what, missy, I can make things fall too!"

"Aren't you forgetting the purple glasses?" asked Esudesu.

The wicked witch's expression perked up considerably. "Yes, the glasses!" She then ran over to her dead sister, rummaging through the gore, much to Seryu's disgust. "I have them!" she cried, only for the spectacles to vanish right out of her hands. When the pink witch turned around, she saw that purple glasses had placed themselves on Seryu's face.

"The glasses! Give them back or I'll. . ." began the Wicked Witch of the West, only for Esudesu to interrupt.

"It's too late. There they are, and there they'll stay."

"No really, it's fine," exclaimed Seryu, "This prescription is really severe, I can barely see anything."

"Yes, give them back to me. I'm the only one who knows how to use them. They're of no use to you."

Esudesu quickly added, "You had better hold on to them. Their magic must be very powerful, or else she wouldn't want them so bad."

"But I don't want them, they're giving me a migraine!" Seryu attempted to remove the glasses, only to receive a painful shock for her efforts. "Ow! What the hell kind of glasses are these?"

"Of course, those glasses won't come off until you're dead," mused the Wicked Witch of the West.

Esudesu laughed, "Don't be ridiculous, you have no power here. Now begone, before a giant dog falls on you too."

The wicked witch looked up nervously, as if such a thing might happen. Then she returned to staring daggers at Seryu. "Very well, I'll bide my time. As for you, my fine lady, I may not be able to fix you here, but just try staying out of my way, just try. I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog, too!" With that, the witch let out a cackle before disappearing into a cloud of pink smoke.

"Could someone tell me what just happened?" asked a confused (and slightly dizzy) Seryu.

"It appears the Wicked Witch of the West has it out for you. You won't be safe as long as you're in Ur."

Seryu then remembered how badly she needed to get home. "My comrades are still fighting Night Raid! Wave, Kurome, and Bols need me! You have to help me get back to the Empire!"

"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do. However, there is one person who can help. The Wizard of Ur has great power. If anyone can help you get home, he can. Just follow the yellow brick road, and you'll arrive at the Gilded City, where the wizard is emperor."

Seryu tried to follow the path with her eyes, but the blurry vision caused by the glasses made it difficult. "How can I get there with these horrible prescription glasses stuck on my face?" she cried.

"You have that dog of yours, don't you?" replied Esudesu.

Seryu remembered the leash in her jacket, and reattached it to Koro. "Alright boy, you'll have to lead me this time."

After waving goodbye to the Good Witch of the North, the girl and her dog took off on their adventure.


	3. Chapter 2

For what felt like an eternity, Seryu walked along the yellow brick road with Koro leading her forward. The prescription of the purple glasses made the whole world look like a blurry mess, and after a while Seryu began to experience nausea. Eventually, Koro came to a halt, and his master stopped behind him.

"What's wrong, Koro?" asked the Jaeger. Though she was glad to rest for a moment, the migrain was really getting to her, Seryu wanted to reach the wizard as much as possible.

Koro let out a bark and pointed towards both the left and the right in reply.

Seryu looked, and noticed that the path diverged sharply, and there was no sign revealing which way would get her to the Gilded City fastest. "So it wasn't just the glasses," exclaimed Seryu, "there really is a fork in the road. Well where should I go?"

A male voice answered, "A lot of people take the left. Though the right is travelled frequently also."

"Who said that?" asked Seryu, already reaching for her tonfa guns.

"Over here!" the voice replied.

Seryu looked towards the sound of the voice. She saw a large pile of stuffed black bags and flattened cardboard boxes. However, Seryu noticed a large dark blue object sticking out. She walked over to the pile of discarded objects by the side of the road, and the strange object became more clear. It appeared to take the shape of a man, though it lacked defined joints. And then there was the skin. It looked like. . . polyester?

"Excuse me sir, but who are you?" asked the Jaeger.

"I'm a bean bag man."

"A what?"

"You know, like a bean bag chair. Those things that were cool for a while, but then everyone realized that they're just awkward and uncomfortable."

"Oh," said Seryu, scratching the back of her head out of awkwardness towards the blue man's self depreciation. "What are doing out here?"

"Doesn't the other garbage make it obvious? I've been thrown away."

"Why would someone throw you away?"

The Bean Bag Man paused for a moment, thinking of how to best explain his situation. "Punch me in the chest as hard as you can."

"What?"

"Just do it. Trust me, it won't hurt."

Seryu was hesitant, but then threw her whole weight into a punch aimed at the blue man's core. Seryu watched curiously as her metal fist sunk deep into the Bean Bag Man's body. When she withdrew her hand, she was surprised to see how slowly the crater in the bag returned to its original shape.

"Unlike humans, I don't have a skeleton. My insides only have beans," explained the Bean Bag Man. "The idea of bean bag chairs is that they feel nice because they conform to the owner's body. But you can't really get that comfortable when you just sink down. Furniture needs at least some resistance to work, but I can't hold up anyone. If I only had a frame, I could support my friends when they sat down!"

Seryu listened patiently to the Bean Bag Man's troubles. "I'm sorry you can't find a way to feel useful, I wish I could help. Oh, that reminds me, I haven't introduced myself! My name is Seryu Ubiquitous, and this is my dog, Koro. We're from the Empire."

"The Empire? What's that?"

"It's the country where I'm from."

"Bit of a generic name for country, isn't it?"

"Well, in any case, that's where I need to go. Koro and I are going to see the wizard in the Gilded City so he'll send us home."

"A wizard? Do you think that if I came with you, that this wizard could give me the strength to be more supportive?"

"I mean, if he has the power to send people people home I guess putting a frame in you wouldn't be that outlandish. . ."

"Great! Please let me come with you! I won't be any trouble. I don't need to eat anything, and I won't try to force anything on you because I'm a pushover. Won't you take me with you?" pleaded the blue man.

"Well of course I will. Back when I was in the Imperial Guard, I escorted people all the time."

The Bean Bag Man jumped for joy. "Hurray! We're off to see a wizard!" Then, he began to sing a song to himself as he skipped down the road. "We're off to see the wizard. The wonderful Wizard of Ur. We hear he is a whiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there were. . ."

"Can you please not sing!" begged Seryu, "These glasses are stuck to my head, they have given me a horrible headache."

"Oh, sorry." Though the blue man continued to quietly hum the tune to himself as he skipped along the yellow brick road. Seryu and Koro followed, apparently haven forget the earlier dilemma regarding the split paths.

 _What an odd man._ Seryu thought to herself. _Though, there is something familiar about him._

* * *

Seryu, Koro, and Bean Bag Man continued their journey along the yellow brick road. After a while, Koro's stomach began to growl. Koro expressed his hunger by whining and poking Seryu's leg.

"I know you're hungry, boy. I'll keep an eye out for any evildoers for you to snack on."

"Wait, your dog eats people?" asked the Bean Bag Man, who was more than a little concerned.

Seryu laughed. "Don't worry, he only eats _evil_ people."

"Right. . ."

Seryu looked around and noticed several fruit trees around them. "Look, boy! You can eat some apples. Just remember not to eat the seeds."

The Jaeger ran over and picked a piece of fruit, only for one of the tree's branches to shoot out and slap the apple out of Seryu's hand.

"What do you think you're doing?" barked the tree.

"We've been walking a long way, and my dog was hungry, so. . . wait, did you talk?"

"Her dog was hungry," mocked the tree, eliciting similar taunts from the other trees. "Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?"

"Is there anything in this land that doesn't talk?" wondered Seryu.

The Bean Bag Man ran up to Seryu and said, "Don't worry, Seryu, you don't want any of _those_ apples."

"Are you saying my apples aren't what they ought to be?" asked the tree.

"No, she just doesn't like little green worms."

"Why you!" yelled the trees as they reached out to grab the blue man. He and Seryu quickly moved out of the tree's grasp.

"I'll show you how to get apples," whispered the Bean Bag Man into Seryu's ear, before making a rude gesture towards the trees. The trees then began pulling off apples and pelting him with them, causing the Bean Bag Man to fall over.

Seryu was livid. "No one hurts my friend! Koro, equip me with number six!" The imperial arms bit Seryu's right arm, and left a large armored missile.

The trees immediately stopped throwing apples and gazed in terror at the Jaeger, who was now sporting a psychotic grin. "Holy crap, she's packing!" one cried.

"Taste Matsuzaki's Firework of JUSTICE!" screamed Seryu as she fired the missile. Upon colliding with the first tree, the missile exploded into an inferno that destroyed the apple trees, sending their fruits flying in all directions.

The Bean Bag Man looked on in horror at the carnage in front of him. "You didn't have to kill them. The apples didn't hurt or anything."

Seryu turned towards her friend, now back to her normal genki girl self. "Those trees were evil creatures," she explained cheerfully. "No need to worry, they won't trouble anyone else ever again. Now help me collect the undamaged fruit."

Seryu chased after the few apples that weren't ruined by the explosion. Her eyes landed on an especially ripe one, and reached down to grab it. However, before Seryu could touch the fruit, a small hand picked it up and offered it to her.

"Here you go, is this yours?" asked a soft, feminine voice.

Seryu looked up, and to her surprise, she saw a animate porcelain doll the size of a short girl. The doll was dressed in a black shirt, skirt, leggings, and shoes. Her eyes and short hair were equally black, contrasting with her pale porcelain skin.

"Oh, yes, thank you. My name is Seryu, and I'm here with my dog Koro and my friend the Bean Bag Man. What's your name?"

The doll just shrugged and said, "People just call me the Lonely Doll."

"You don't have a name?"

"Well, I never knew my family. I've been alone as long as I can remember."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I know how it feels to be without a loved one," said Seryu, remembering the death of her own father.

The doll continued, "Nothing looks lonelier than a doll all by itself. If I had at least one sister, I would be happy. But no matter where I look, I can never find another doll like me."

An idea popped into Seryu's head. "You should come with us to the Gilded City to ask the Wizard of Ur to help you find a family. Bean Bag Man is going to ask for a frame for support, and I'm going to ask him to send me and Koro home."

"But what if the wizard refuses to help me find a family?"

"Oh he wouldn't do that. After all, we've come such a long way already. Besides, it's better than wandering around aimlessly for a sister."

"You're right, I'll come with you!"

Just then, the Bean Bag Man caught up to Seryu and noticed the doll. "Well, who's this? She's awfully cute," stated the blue man, before looking away bashfully.

"Thank you," beamed the doll. "I'm a Lonely Doll, and I'm coming with you so the wizard will help me find a family."

With everyone introduced, Seryu, Koro, Bean Bag Man, and Lonely Doll all continued down the road.

* * *

Eventually, the group's path led them into a dark forest. The trees blocked most of the sunlight, and the cries of various beasts travelled through the area. All of this put Seryu and her friends on edge, but the yellow brick road ran through the woods, so they kept going. The deeper they went into the forest, the more fallen branches, grass, and other such things covered the road. It became difficult to see the yellow bricks, so the group kept their eyes on the road instead of looking straight ahead. Despite their best efforts, the path almost seemed to disappear completely.

"Guys, let's face it. We're lost," lamented Bean Bag Man

"How did this happen? We were on the road. It just seemed to vanish," said a frustrated Doll.

"We can't give up. We've haven't come all this way just to lose ourselves in a forest. My comrades back home need me, and I will be getting back to them somehow. Everyone, spread out and call when you find the road," instructed Seryu.

Everyone began searching for the path while remaining within earshot. Seryu came across what appeared to be stone ruins, which were covered in moss and badly eroded. Seryu stared intently around her, hoping to spot a hint of yellow among the green, brown, and grey. Her search was interrupted when a gentle voice asked, "Excuse me, are you looking for something?"

Seryu spun around, looking for whoever had called out to her.

"Sorry, I'm over here," the voice said awkwardly.

Seryu turned around again and cried out in surprise at what she saw behind her. There stood a giant stone statue. It was well worn from the elements, but it was clearly made to resemble a man. It had a great build, one resembling an experienced bodybuilder. However, what was most alarming about the statue's appearance was its face. Or rather, the lack thereof. As Seryu was taking in the statue's intimidating appearance, Koro, Bean Bag Man, and Lonely Doll ran up to her.

"Hey, Seryu, we heard you yell, did you find the. . . AH!" shouted Bean Bag Man.

"Is that statue moving?!" cried Lonely Doll.

"Stand back everyone! I will protect you from this monster!" With that, Seryu drew her tonfa guns and prepared to fire.

"Wait, wait, I'm not going to hurt you!" shouted the statue. "You just looked like you were trying to find something, and I thought I could help."

After a tense standoff, Seryu put her weapons down. "Sorry, you just kind of snuck up on me. I wasn't sure what to think."

"It's fine. This usually happens I try to talk to people who enter these woods. I guess most folks are scared of my size and my missing face."

"What did happen to your face, if you don't mind my asking," asked Bean Bag Man.

"It must have slowly weathered away over time. Thanks to my appearance, everyone who looks at me screams and runs away. If only I could get a new face, I could talk to people again."

Seryu perked up. "We're all going to see the wizard in the Gilded City. Bean Bag Man wants a frame, Lonely Doll wants a family, and Koro and I are trying to get back home. If you could lead us back to the path and come with us, I'm sure the wizard would be able to grant your wish too."

"You think so! I'd be happy to accompany you all! Follow me, I know the way out of this forest."

With that, the Faceless Statue led the group of friends back to the yellow brick road, and their adventure continued.

* * *

 **AN: That concludes chapter 3. Thank you to everyone who favorited, followed, or commented. Your encouragement really motivates me, and I deeply appreciate it.**


	4. Chapter 3

Seryu and her band of friends had all gotten to know each other quite well on their journey to the Gilded City. The long road had given them plenty of time to talk amongst themselves, with Bean Bag Man and Doll getting along particularly well. The porcelain girl had even managed to win over Koro by sharing a cookie from her bag with him. Statue was a little more hesitant to join the conversation. Seryu figured he was just shy, so she tried her best to make small talk with him to break the ice. At long last, the Gilded City came into sight.

"Look, over there," pointed Statue, "It's the Gilded City! Oh how brightly the sun's rays reflect off of the city's metal walls!"

"Wait, how can you tell such things when you don't even have eyes?" asked Seryu, who was shielding her own retinas with her hands.

Statue paused for a moment, trying to think up an explanation, but just answered with a shrug.

"Who cares?" cried the blue man. "We've finally reached our goal!" With that, Bean Bag Man raced towards the city gates, leaving the rest of the group behind.

Doll called out after him, "Wait, your eyes haven't adjusted to the brightness! If you approach too quickly, you'll. . ." But it was too late.

"Ah! My eyes, it burns! Someone turn down the sun!"

Seryu decided she needed to take charge. "Listen everyone, our eyes will adjust eventually. Just walk forwards slowly, and avoid looking directly at the walls."

With great effort, and at a snail's pace, the group trudged towards the city. By the time they had reached the gates, their eyes had mostly become accustomed to the bright flare. Upon reaching the gates, Seryu noticed a rope hanging down, leading up to a bell. Putting two and two together she rang the bell. A loud _ding-dong_ rang out, and the group waited for a reply. After a few seconds, a small hatch on the door opened up, and Seryu could see a human eye peeking through. Seryu assumed the man looking through the peephole must be the gatekeeper.

"Who rang that bell?" barked the gatekeeper.

"I did. My friends and I want to see the wizard."

"Didn't you see the sign?" asked the man, his voice becoming more agitated.

"What sign?"

"The sign on the door. It's as clear as the nose on my face."

"We can't really see your nose either," muttered Doll.

Seryu looked around the gates, and sure enough, there was a sign that read, "BELL OUT OF ORDER. COME AGAIN LATER."

"I must have missed that because of the flare," said Seryu, "Either way, the bell is clearly fine. It rang loudly enough for you to hear us."

The gatekeeper snorted. "Rules are rules. No one is allowed in. Unless. . ."

"Unless?" asked Statue.

"Unless any of you could contribute to the city's 'Bell Repair Fund.'"

"What's that?" asked Seryu.

"You see, if someone were to donate money to the city, we could afford to fix the bell, and let you all in."

Bean Bag Man looked indignant. "What do you mean you can't afford to fix it. Your walls are literally made of gold!"

The gatekeeper shrugged on the other side of said walls. "Look, I said we lack the funds. Either donate some money through the coin slot on the door, or get lost." With that, the man closed the peephole.

Doll began digging through the pockets in her clothes, before pulling out two gold coins.

"Wait," said the blue man, "this is clearly a scam. Don't give all your money to that cheat."

"I know it's a scam, but what other choice do we have? The only way we'll see the wizard is to pay off this guy," WIth that, Doll slipped the coins through the slot.

Almost immediately, the gates were unlocked and flew open. "The bell is now fixed. Welcome to the Gilded City."

Seryu and her friends passed through the gates without a word, dumbstruck at how little the man tried to hide his con.

"Now, would you mind telling us where we can find the wizard?" asked Seryu.

"Need some directions, eh? That will cost. . ." Before the gatekeeper could finish, one look at Seryu's enraged eyes, along with a growl from Koro, told the man it would be unhealthy to push his luck. "The wizard's palace is located in the center of the city. Just go straight, you can't miss it."

"Thank you for your help," said Seryu, in a tone less than sincere.

As Seryu led her party through the streets of the Gilded City, it became evidently clear that the city's name was quite the misnomer. All the dwellings were in a state of disrepair, and the shops were rundown. What was most surprising were the people who walked the city streets. They were mostly dressed in rags, and refused to make eye contact with one another. The townspeople just seemed to mindless go about their private affairs, while trying to avoid contact with others as much as possible.

"Not quite the image I got when I heard, 'Gilded City,'" muttered Bean Bag Man.

"It appears the authorities put more effort towards keeping others out than helping those already here," whispered Statue.

Seryu didn't say a word, but couldn't help being reminded of the worst slums in the Capital she patrolled back when she was a member of the Imperial Guard.

Doll didn't make any noise either, save for the crunching of cookies.

True to the gatekeeper's word, the group easily spotted the wizard's palace. It was an impressive keep, towering so high into the clouds that one couldn't see the top. Like the city walls, the palace appeared to be made out of gold. It was a stark contrast from the dirty buildings that made up the rest of the city. Wasting no time, Seryu marched up to the keep's golden gates and used the knocker on the door. Just as with the city gates, a peephole opened up. Seryu's first thought was, _Oh great. Another gatekeeper._

"What do you want?" barked the man.

"If you'd please, Sir. We'd like to see the wizard. All four of us."

"Orders are nobody can see the wizard. Not nobody, not nohow."

"But it's very important!" insisted Seryu.

"Not nobody, not no. . . wait, are those the purple glasses on your face?"

"Yes, they are."

"So you're the one who killed the Wicked Witch of the East?"

"Yes, that was me. I served that witch JUSTICE. . . even if by accident."

"Well, that changes things considerably. I'll announce you right away," said the gatekeeper, closing the peephole.

"At least he didn't ask for a bribe," said Doll.

After a few minutes of suspenseful waiting, the peephole opened up again.

"The wizard says, 'Go away!'" shouted the gatekeeper before slamming the peephole shut.

Everyone in the party felt defeated. Everyone except Seryu. Seryu wasn't discouraged, she was pissed. She thought about how her comrades back home might already have been killed by Night Raid, and here the wizard wouldn't even hear her request. This Jaeger had had enough.

"Koro, equip me with number five."

Koro then bit down on his master's right arm, leaving a giant drill in his place.

"Alright, Wizard, if you won't listen to me, listen to Enma's Spear of JUSTICE!" screamed Seryu as she tore down the doors of the palace, crushing the gatekeeper along with them. "Come on guys, we're getting our wishes granted, one way or another."

Seryu charged down the halls of the palace with her companions close behind. She was formulating what she would say to the wizard when they met, thinking that if the wizard would have to help her if she was assertive enough. As she burst into the throne room, all her confidence vanished. Sitting on a colossal throne was a giant suit of armor. The armor covered every inch of the wearer's body. A long purple cape hung from the titan's shoulders. The giant was easily taller than most of the buildings the city's commoners called home. Seryu easily understood why the palace needed to be so large to house this being. She knew that there would be no intimidating this colossus of a man.

"I am Ur, the Great and Powerful. Who are you?" boomed the giant. The voice echoed all throughout the throneroom, giving off the impression that the sound was coming from every direction.

Seryu decided humility would be the best tactic. Stepping forward, she said, "I am Seryu, an agent of justice. We've come to ask-"

"SILENCE!" roared the wizard, making Seryu step back to her friends. "The Great Ur knows why you have come. Step forward, Doll."

The porcelain girl nervously obeyed before receiving a tongue lashing from Ur. "You dare come to me to ask for a sister? You stiff, pale, small, inexpressive waste of ceramic!"

Doll tried to speak up for herself, stuttering, "Yes, your honor. You see, I never had a family-"

"SILENCE!" Ur cried. Doll immediately ran to the arms of Bean Bag Man. "And you, Bean Bag Man, have the effrontery to ask for a frame. You ugly, malleable, uncomfortable, sorry excuse for furniture!"

Bean Bag Man fell to his knees, "Yes, your honor- I mean your excellency- I mean your wizardry."

"ENOUGH! And you, Statue."

Before the wizard could insult him as well, the stone man's nerves got to him, and he fainted with a loud crash.

As the others tried to help Statue up, Seryu's fear was replaced by anger at how her friends were being treated.

"You should be ashamed of yourself! Frightening him like that when he came to you for help!"

"SILENCE, WHIPPERSNAPPER! The Magnificent Ur has every intention of granting your requests."

At this, Statue sat up. "He will?"

"But first, you must complete for me, one small task. Bring me the broomstick, 'Pumpkin,' of the Wicked Witch of the West."

"But we'd have to kill her to get it," said Statue.

"But what if she kills us first?" asked a terrified Bean Bag Man.

"I SAID GO!"

As the wizard's command echoed throughout the palace, Seryu, Koro, Bean Bag Man, Doll, and Statue all fled the keep. They didn't stop running until they were well outside the walls of the Gilded City.

The group made camp outside the Gilded City, taking the time to catch their breath and decide what to do. After a couple minutes of resting, Seryu spoke first.

"I don't have a choice. My comrades back home need me. If killing this witch is the only way the wizard will send me back, I'll do it. Koro and I have combat experience, so we'll be fine. I wouldn't blame any of you if you wanted to sit this out."

Seryu's three companions all looked at each other and then back at her. Bean Bag Man spoke first. "I'm coming with you. A man always sticks by his friends, so I'll support you."

Doll spoke next. "I may not have a sister, but friends like you are as close to family as people come. I'll have your back."

Last was Statue. "I can't just ask you to risk your life to make all our dreams come true. What kind of person would do that? I'm coming to help you, witch or no witch."

Seryu was stunned. She hadn't known these three for that long (though they all felt strangely familiar), yet they were all willing to risk their lives to help her kill this witch. Bringing all these people to see the wizard, giving them hope for the first time that their dreams will be realized, clearly meant the world to them. And now they were going to do anything to help Seryu grant her wish.

Smiling at her friends, Seryu happily declared, "Alright then. We're off to kill the witch."


	5. Chapter 4

Whatever energy had driven Seryu and company before they set out to kill the witch was gone now. The party was travelling through a thick forest, and the sun had begun to set. To Seryu and her friends, every tree looked just like the ones around it, making the scenery indistinguishable. It felt like they were just walking in place, making no progress with no end to their dark tunnel in sight. The dangerous nature of their quest combined with the haunting atmosphere of their surroundings wreaked havoc on the group's morale.

"Are you sure we had to go through these creepy woods?" asked Doll.

"The only path to the witch's lair that I know of goes through this forest. Trust me, if there was another way I wouldn't have led you here," replied Statue.

Bean Bag Man spoke up, "You know, it's getting kinda dark. Maybe we should set up a shelter for the night."

"Justice never rests, and neither will we!" replied a determined Seryu.

"I don't think people are the same as abstract philosophical concepts," muttered Doll.

Bean Bag Man, tired of looking at nothing but trees, glanced up at the darkening sky. He then noticed that there were several small black dots flying in the sky, and they appeared to be getting bigger. He asked his companions, "Hey guys, do you see those birds up there? I didn't think it was migration season. Wait, what the hell?"

As the "birds" came into focus, it became clear that they weren't birds at all. Seryu tensed up, seeing that an uncountable number of winged monkeys were now flying right at them.

"Koro, deploy number nine: Justice City Detector!"

The little dog obeyed, coughing up an arm-sized radar. To the group's horror, it showed countless red blips coming at them from every direction.

"Don't worry comrades, I'll protect you!" shouted Seryu. "Koro, numbers two, seven, and eight!"

Koro's mouth proceeded to engulf his master, leaving her with four missile turrets on her back, an anti-tank rifle on one arm, and a smaller rocket launcher on her other arm.

"JUSTICE VOLLEY FIRE!" screamed the Jaeger as she fired her payload at the nearest cluster of winged monkeys.

The darkened sky was illuminated with the fire from several explosions. The flames swallowed many of the monkeys as Seryu continued shooting everything she had. After a few minutes of the constant barrage, Seryu ran out of munitions. The sky was now choked with smoke, and not a single enemy was in sight.

"I did it! I vanquished the evil!" squealed Seryu. "Daddy, do you see me? I. . . oh no."

As Seryu looked up, she saw that as the smoke dissipated, more winged monkeys filled the space her weapons had created.

"How many of these things are there?" asked a bewildered Statue.

"That was everything I had," whispered Seryu in a disheartened voice. Then she perked up again and put on a bloodthirsty grin. "It doesn't matter, because justice never surrenders! We'll just have to fight them up close! Koro, numbers one and three!"

Before the teigu could obey, one of the monkeys dropped an electrified net on him. Seryu watched helplessly as her pet was incapacitated. Within moments, the monkeys had swarmed the group. Two of the beasts managed to tear off the Jaeger's mechanical arms. They monkeys were shocked to see that in place of her arms were two small guns.

"JUSTICE EXECUTION!" she shouted before a third gun poked out of her mouth. She began blasting away at the monkeys. After the ones closest to her had their brains blown out, the rest tried to keep their distance. However, Seryu soon found herself out of ammo, and no where near out of enemies. Sensing the Jaeger was out of tricks, the monkeys resumed their attack. Four took hold of Seryu, restraining her. She began screaming various phrases related to justice at the beasts, to the point where one of the winged monkeys tore cloth from his own shirt to gag her.

"I'll save you Seryu!" cried a voice. Seryu and her attackers turned to see Bean Bag Man charging towards them. He let out a loud cry and threw a punch at one of the monkeys grappling Seryu. The polyester fist collided with the monkey's face, but had no impact. "Uh oh," sheepishly muttered the blue man before being dogpiled by a group of monkeys. "Curse my plush softness!" he cried as the monkeys tore into his polyester skin.

Seryu looked to see that Doll and Statue were faring no better, being left to attempting to swat off the animals. Seryu felt herself take off as the monkeys hoisted her into the air. Another monkey retrieved the unconscious Koro. As the beasts carried her into the night sky, Seryu was resigned to helplessly watching as her struggling friends appeared to get smaller and smaller.

* * *

Before long, the winged monkeys had brought Seryu and Koro to the witch's castle. Seryu felt helpless as she was (literally) disarmed before the Wicked Witch of the West. The pink colored girl smirked as she held an unconscious Koro in her arms.

"What a nice little dog," the witch sneered, before putting him in a basket and handing it to a monkey. "And you, what an unexpected pleasure. How nice of you to drop in to visit me."

Although she was scared, the Jaeger refused to let it show. With a steady voice, she said, "I don't care what you do to me, villain. Just let Koro go!"

"I'd be happy to let both of you off the hook, just give me those glasses."

"Fine. This prescription has been killing me for hours anyways."

The witch excitedly reached towards Seryu's face, only for a bolt of electricity zap her fingers.

"Ow! Damn! I should have remembered. The spell prevents those glasses from being removed as long as the wearer lives. I can't just blow you away with Pumpkin, I might damage the glasses."

As the witch was thinking, Koro awoke and fled the room, still being too injured to transform into his fighting mode.

"Run, Koro, run!" cried Seryu.

"Get that mutt, you idiots!" the witch screamed at her minions.

But it was too late. The winged monkeys couldn't catch Koro, who leapt over the rising drawbridge and towards the woods. Seryu inwardly cheered as she watched her companion run to safety.

"Don't get too excited," growled the witch. "You're still here. I should begin the _slow_ and _agonizing_ process of killing you in a way that will let me take those glasses. . . but a new OVA of Seven Deadly Sins is about to air, and I'm not missing out on that hunk, Ban," the pink girl sighed as she had naughty thoughts about her fictional beefcake. Then the witch pulled out a large hourglass. "See this? When this runs out, I'll be ready to take care of you. Soon, you'll be dead and those magic glasses will be mine. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with an immortal thief," she said before charging out of the room, locking the door behind her.

As Seryu watched the sands fall, she couldn't help but wonder about her friends.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the woods, Doll and Statue were tending to Bean Bag Man's wounds. Doll had spent the the greater part of the afternoon picking up clumps of beans and re-stuffing her blue friend. After she was finished, the statue pulled out a convenient sewing kit and went to work closing the tears in the polyester.

"I never would have guessed you were so good at domestic duties," wondered Bean Bag Man as his faceless companion finished. "Thank you both so much. If it wasn't for you guys, my insides would be all over the forest."

"That's what comrades are for," beamed Statue. "I just wish we could have protected Seryu and her dog."

The trio frowned (or in Statue's case, just looked down) thinking about their fight earlier. Then a bark caused all three of them to look up. They stared in joyous shock as Koro bounded towards them.

"Koro, you're alright! Where's Seryu? Is she safe?" asked Doll.

The dog responded by gesturing with his tiny arms in the direction he came from. Then he bolted off.

"I think he's trying to lead us to Seryu," guessed the Statue.

"We'd better hurry then. I'd hate to think of all the horrible things that witch is doing to her as we speak," said the blue man with a shudder.

* * *

It hadn't been long, but Seryu knew she was dying. Yes, she was dying of boredom. There was absolutely nothing to do as she waited for the witch to put her out of her misery. As if on cue, Seryu heard footsteps approaching her room.

"What an emotional payoff! And Ban had fifteen shirtless scenes! Oh, Elaine, you are one lucky fairy," came the witch's voice.

Seryu looked and saw that the hourglass was just about done. Thinking quickly, she grabbed it with her teeth and turned it over. No sooner had she sat back down then the Wicked Witch of the West burst in.

"Alright, Justice Girl, ready to. . ." her voice trailed off as she saw the hour glass. "That doesn't make sense. It should be done by now. Well, I guess I could rewatch a few episodes." With that, the witch left Seryu in her room again.

"Evil sure is stupid," the Jaeger muttered to herself.

* * *

After following Koro for a while, the gang found themselves outside the castle, which was surrounded by guards.

"I have an idea for how we can get inside!" shouted Bean Bag Man, before getting shushed by his friends. Even Koro lifted his arm to his mouth in the "be quiet" gesture. "Sorry," he whispered, "I was thinking we could steal a few guard uniforms and sneak in."

"That's a decent plan, but how are we going to isolate three guards?" asked Doll.

"Hey, what are you three doing here?" asked a voice behind them.

The group turned around and saw precisely three guards, wearing full-body uniforms and helmets that covered their faces. Instead of giving a reply, Statue simply decked one guard, Doll incapacitated another with a hit below the belt, and Bean Bag Man tackled the last one. After equipping their uniforms, the three entered the castle, with Koro hidden underneath Doll's jacket. Once sure no one was watching, she let Koro out, who led them to the room where Seryu was being held.

"Stand back, everyone," said Statue. Drawing back his stone fists, he punched the weak door open. Doll was the first to enter, her eyes meeting Seryu's tired gaze.

"Aren't you a little short for a guard?" the Jaeger asked.

"Bite me," replied Doll, taking off her helmet. "Now let's get that broomstick."

Just as the group were leaving the room, a high pitched voice cried out, "Who's making all that noise! I'm in the middle of a binge!" They turned and saw the Wicked Witch of the West coming around the corner. "It's you! After them!"

Seryu and her friends charged downstairs as alarms sounded throughout the castle. They made it to the exit, but their hopes were dashed as soldiers rushed out from every direction, cutting off their only escape. As everyone realized they were surrounded, a shrill cackle sounded from behind.

"Thought you could checkout whenever you wanted, huh? Well now I've got you all in one place!" gloated the witch.

"Wait, Miss West. . ." stammered Bean Bag Man, causing the pink girl's face to twist with fury.

"I'm only half western! Why is my tribe such a big deal to you people anyways? You know what? Just for that, I'm getting rid of you first." Just as she finished, the broomstick Pumpkin ignited, causing Bean Bag Man to leap back in fright.

Seryu panicked, looking around frantically for anything that could save them. That's when she noticed a wooden bucket of water resting on the floor. Instinctively, she kicked the water bucket at Pumpkin, dousing both the broomstick and its owner.

"Argh! I'm melting! I'm melting! Oh, what a world, what a world! To think I would be stupid enough to leave my one mortal weakness just lying around like that! Oh, what a world!" screamed the witch as she melted away.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, before the guards cheered, "Hail Seryu! She has freed us from the witch!" One guard immediately went up to her and vigorously shook her stump arm. "Thank you, young hero. That witch forced us to be her servants for years. But now, we are free to return to our families."

"I'm afraid I can't let you all off the hook," replied the Jaeger darkly. The guards immediately stopped cheering. "Those who have served evil, no matter the reason why, must be punished. Koro, equip me with number three!" The dog obeyed, leaving a massive sword where Seryu's right arm was. "SUNG DYNASTY BLADE!" she shrieked, cleaving several guards in two. Koro quickly joined in, swallowing multiple men whole.

Bean Bag Man, Doll, and Statue watched with mouths agape as a girl and her dog massacred the screaming soldiers. After a couple terrifying minutes, Seryu approached her friends. Her once green clothes were now dyed red, and blood drenched her face and hair. "Don't worry guys, evil has been cleansed from this castle." Then she noticed Pumpkin on the ground. Picking it up, she exclaimed, "Look guys, we can show this to the wizard and get our wishes granted. Guys? Why are you staring like that?"

* * *

"Well, well, I see you have brought me the broom," bellowed the Wizard of Ur, his massive form looking down at the group of five.

"Yes, Sir," replied a jubilant Seryu. "And know, we'd like you to keep your promise."

"I'll give the matter a little thought. Come back tomorrow."

"Tomorrow! But my comrades need me now!"

"Do you dare back sass the great and powerful Ur!" boomed the wizard.

In spite of her trembling knees, Seryu didn't back down. "If you were really great and powerful, you'd keep your word!"

"Silence! Be grateful I am giving you an audience tomorrow instead of twenty years, especially after you broke down my door the last time you showed up!"

Just then, Koro looked over towards the corner of the room. A large drape hid something, and Koro wanted to know what. Running over, he pulled away the drapes, revealing a portly, old, man with long white hair and a beard. Upon seeing that he was exposed, he yelped and shouted into a microphone, "Get out, and don't pay attention to the man behind the curtain!"

Seryu and company curiously approached the old man anyways, causing him to shrink in embarrassment. "Who are you?" asked everyone at once.

"Well, my name is Truthful, but everyone else knows me as the Wizard of Ur."

"You fraud!" shouted a disgusted Statue.

"You're truly a bad man!" said Seryu, who began looking at Koro expectantly.

"No, no, no! I'm a good man, just a. . . just a really bad wizard."

"Does this mean you can't help us?" asked a discouraged Bean Bag Man.

"No, no. For example, you wanted something to make you strong enough to support your friends, right? Where I come from, we have these people called counselors. They sit around all day and listen to people's problems, and they're not any stronger than you are. But here's what they do have that you don't: a big comfy couch!" With that, Truthful went and pulled out a large comfortable looking piece of furniture. "Sometimes, being a supportive friend just means being there for them, and listening when they need you."

Bean Bag Man sat near the couch and said, "Hey, I think I help people no matter what troubles them! Mister Wizard, how can I ever thank you enough?"

"You can't," replied Truthful before turning to Statue. "And you there. You think that your appearance keeps people from getting close to you. The truth is, just being kind is more than enough to win over people, at least if they are people of quality. There are lots of funny looking people with friends, and they only have one thing on you: a smile." Truthful then pulled a comedy theatre mask from the wall, and handed it to Statue.

"I feel charming already," softly whispered Statue, who would be blushing if his face wasn't covered.

Then Truthful approached the Lonely Doll. "You, young lady, wish for a sister, is that right?"

"Yes, I've always wanted a family."

"Well, although I can't provide you with a sibling by blood, family can mean anyone who you care about enough to consider yourself related to. There are plenty of people who consider themselves related to those they share no blood with, and their families aren't any more real than yours, but what they have is legal documentation." Truthful proceeded to pull out several official looking sheets of paper. "Now, would any of you like to be apart of this girl's. . ."

Before the wizard could finish, a blue hand shot up followed by the cry of, "I would love to!" Everyone turned to Bean Bag Man, who shrinked in embarrassment.

"I would as well," said Statue.

"So would I" cheered Seryu.

"Alright then. Just sign here, here, and here."

After everyone had filled out the paperwork, Truthful announced, "Congratulations, you're all distant cousins now, or whatever."

As everyone gathered around and hugged Doll, Truthful explained, "In life, family can be the friends you make along the way."

"But wait, what about Seryu?" asked Doll.

"Yeah, aren't you going to help Seryu?" said Bean Bag Man.

"Seryu next," added Statue.

"Is there anything you have that can help me?" the Jaeger asked.

"Well, to get you back to the Empire, I'd have to take you back myself. Now come with me."

The wizard took everyone out the back door, where a hot air balloon was waiting. "I keep this around in case the city finds out I'm a fake, and I need to make a hasty exit," explained Truthful. He entered the balloon and began fiddling with the ropes. "Hold on while I get this thing ready. . . uh oh." Unexpectedly, the balloon began to take off without Seryu.

"Wait, come back!"

"I can't, I don't know how it works. Well, goodbye everyone."

Seryu's heart sank as she watched the balloon rise, until it was out of sight. Feeling utterly hopeless, she sank to her knees and wept.

Placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, Bean Bag Man said, "Don't worry Seryu, you can stick with us. We're still your friends, and we look out for each other."

Seryu looked into the polyester man's eyes, replying, "Thank you, but my comrades back home need me. They could be hurt, or killed by those villains in Night Raid, and I can't do anything to help them!"

Just then, Seryu noticed something flying towards her out of the corner of her eye. As it got nearer, she noticed it was a cube. Then she gasped upon realizing what it was. Or rather, who it was. As the ice cube approached, it transformed into a familiar woman.

"Esudesu! Did you come here to help me?"

"You don't need my help, you had the power to go home whenever you wanted!"

". . . what?"

"I knew you wouldn't believe me, so I sent you on a wild adventure to teach you a lesson."

"What. . . the hell. . . IS WRONG WITH YOU!" screamed Seryu.

"Huh? I don't see why you're so upset."

"Why am I upset? My friend's lives were at stake, and instead of telling me what I needed to know, you lie and send me on a wild goose chase with a killer witch out for me!"

"Well, there is that, but didn't you learn an important moral?"

"What moral? That there's no place like home? I've wanted to do nothing but go home since I came to this place! And as for me not believing it, consider this: I got transported to a magical world with singing dwarves, witches, and talking inanimate objects. My suspension of disbelief is pretty high right now."

"Well if you're going to be such a poor sport, then I'll tell you how to get home. Push the magic glasses up the bridge of your nose, and say 'There's no place like home,' three times."

Turning away from the "good" witch, Seryu went to her friends. "I'll miss you all so much. Remember to stay on the path of justice. Goodbye." With that, Seryu pushed up the glasses, said the phrase thrice, and everything went black.

* * *

When Seryu opened her eyes again, she was lying in bed, surrounded by the faces of her fellow Jaegers. "Comrades! You're all here! Does this mean we beat Night Raid?"

"Not quite," explained Run. "I found Wave injured, lying far away from the battle. He informed me of the ambush, and I was able to retrieve Esdeath, Stylish, and his experiments. By the time we found you all, Night Raid had surrounded Bols and Kurome. They were both fighting hard to protect you as you lay incapacitated, and the rest of us were able to drive Night Raid away. The doctor fixed you up, and here we are."

"You are very fortunate. For a moment, we were all concerned you had left this world," added Esdeath.

"But I did leave you! That Night Raid sniper sent me to another place," Seryu exclaimed, pointing at Wave, Korome, then Bols. "You, and you, and you were all there! Oh, and the prime minister was there too!"

"Honest?" asked a confused Bols.

"Sounds like you had a wild dream while you were out," replied Wave.

"No, no. You don't understand. This was a real, truly live place. And I remember that some of it wasn't very nice, but most of it was beautiful, and you were all there. You were too soft, you had a sister complex, and you didn't have a face. Doesn't anybody believe me?" asked Seryu, who was starting to get agitated.

Instead of answering, the Jaegers all looked at each other. Kurome turned to Doctor Stylish and asked, "She's not going to be like this forever, right?"

"Well, this sort of thing is normal for people who experience head trauma. She should be over it in a few days."

Just then, Koro woke up and jumped into Seryu's arms. "Koro, we're both safe. And we're home. Home! And you're all here. And I'm not going to leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all. And... Oh Captain Esdeath, there really is no place like home!"

Seryu's friends looked confused, unsure of how to react to their comrade's sentimental outburst. Esdeath was the first to say something. Turning around, she announced, "All this sappiness is getting on my nerves. I think I'll spend some time in my torture chamber if anyone needs me."

One by one, the other Jaegers filed out until it was just Seryu, Koro, and Stylish. "Oh, good doctor, you believe me, don't you?"

Stylish flashed a warm smile and said, "Of course I do, Dear. Now get some rest. Doctor's orders." The doctor then left, turning out the lights, leaving Seryu alone with her dog.

The End

* * *

 **AN: Big thanks to everyone who took the time to read this story. It was a lot of fun to write, even if life made it hard to update as quickly. If you enjoyed this story, check out some of my other Akame ga Kill works. Thank you for reading!**


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